Illusions of Normalcy

I went to graduation tonight at good ole' Woodburn High School. I didn't really want to go, but I felt like I owed it to a few of the seniors that I had connected with the past 4 years. I'm glad I did. I was able to tell more people about our ministry, and ultimately about my life change. I said to two students when they asked me why I would do something so crazy "well, to tell you the truth, I couldn't see myself going back to teaching for another 25 years and then retiring to play golf or fish or whatever" (maybe even drive around in an RV). They gave me a weird look (very typical), but then they said something that got me thinking, they both responded at the same time with "really?" - like working for 30 years, saving for retirement, and keeping your head above water financially was something you were just supposed to do.

I used to think that I had it made - was home from work by 4pm, had most of June, July and August off, and coached a sport that I absolutely loved. I felt like I was good at what I did, I had an impact on kids, and my job had meaning. Life was good. Then all of this came along. Jesus came calling. God altered my perspective on what was important, and what wasn't. He also gave me a glimpse of what His Kingdom is about - and it's not about retirement. Every once in a while things get a little tough, I can't see what is next, or I don't know if things are going to turn out OK (basically I begin to see myself outside of the sovereignty of God - never a good thing), and I want to turn back, I want to grasp on to the handle of normalcy. I quickly realize though, normalcy is an illusion.

In Numbers 14, the Israelites, fearful of what laid before them in the promised land, examined the alternative: return to slavery in Egypt.

All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to Egypt?" And they said to each other, "We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt." Numbers 14:2-4

Slavery is not a normalcy that I am willing to endure.

Looking towards our uncertain future, it is scary, it is hard, but the alternative is slavery. God has promised us our reward in heaven, turning around now just seems silly, boring, and unfulfilling. Turning around now would be going back to slavery. Fear wants us to go back, uncertainty wants us to turn around. No matter how uncertain our future is, returning to "normalcy" seems crazy, and I believe it would be an illusion. We may not wander in the desert for 40 years, but it would feel like it. People may give us crazy looks when we talk about our ministry, but I am not willing to sacrifice a passion for a specific calling that the Lord laid on our hearts in order to return to the illusion of normalcy.

Uncertainty is the only way to live, because that is when you know God must be sovereign in order for you to keep living.

Erwin McManus talks about how rhinocerous' can only see 30ft. in front of them, and when they are running full speed they can go in excess of 30 mph (think about that for a second). That is how I want to run this race - like a rhino, not looking back, just following God with every ounce of passion I've got. If we all did it, that pack of rhinos (ironically called a "crash") couldn't be stopped, and there would be nothing normal about us.