Sunday, April 13, 2008

What have I learned most?

This weekend we had an opportunity to stay at a friends' condo over at the beach with Tim and Jen. The weather was perfect-no wind, 70 degrees, sunny and beautiful! Thank you Mallons for the great condo!
Slowly immersing ourselves into community living has been very good. Obviously, it was only a weekend and we all knew we got to go home on Sunday. But to tell you the truth, none of us really wanted to go "home". I believe the Lord has been knitting our hearts together over the last 6 months, as we have intentionally (that is the key word) made it a point to spend time with one another, eating together, helping out with kids, doing dishes, and talking and praying together a lot. It is starting to feel comfortable with them, like they are part of our family.
I've always been a "people person", so this community living thing is like my dream come true. I'm just so happy I get to live it out! Andy, well, he can speak for himself.... but I'd like to remind you that opposites attract.
Annnnnnyways! What have I learned most so far in this journey? It is hard to nail down one thing because it seems like everything connects somehow. But I'll try.
Last October sometime we were down at Transitional Youth, hanging out with some homeless teens/young adults. I was sitting with a young lady who had 2 children and I had a chance to talk with her a bit. Listening to her made me feel heavy. She was bouncing from house to house, trying to hold some sort of job, desperately trying to find someone safe to watch the kids while she worked, to provide food, clothing, and shelter for her small, sad little family. Very typical story of someone down and out. And when we got done talking, I felt literally drained and completely worthless. What can I do for this lady? And even if I was to help her with something, there would always be something more and more and more. So the Lord answered me with a picture that I will always come back to.
I have Jesus living in my heart. He is the One who gives me life. He is the One who covers my heart with His. My heart is dark, His heart is Light, canceling out all of my darkness.
As I pictured His heart over mine I thought of all the people out there who don't know this. They have their problems, their darkness, their past, their sins and they come to talk to me.
I suddenly saw that because I have Jesus living in me and have embraced His life in me I have an amazing gift to give people. As people sit with me, they get to sit with Jesus for a bit. I can either take all of their darkness, strife, loneliness and sin into my own dark heart and let them bring me down, OR I can feel the darkness for a moment in my heart and then release it to His heart, relieving me from any burden. Kind of like a recycling thing. As I listen/take on other peoples' stories, burdens and sins I can give it to Him to purify. And when I do feel their darkness for a brief moment, I feel a very small dose of what Jesus has done with my sin and shame. He took on everyone's sin. That is HEAVY and so wonderful!
Gosh, this is just barely brushing the surface. I could talk about this forever.
I will never take for granted Who I have living in me because He is my only Hope. Jesus has made me pure in my Father's eyes because His Light covers my dark heart. I now know that because we carry Jesus in our hearts, we can truly go to the dark parts of this world and not grow weary and burdened. We can give Rest to those who are burdened. What an amazing God we have! I am so filled with Hope because I know Jesus is alive and walking this earth, in me, in my husband, and in the rest of the family of believers. Now if we can just let go of our own hearts and lean on His, it will surely be Heaven on earth.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

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