Migration

I have grown tired of the spam that Blogger is not able to block.  I have migrated this blog to Wordpress: www.thekingdomiswithinyou.wordpress.com

If you would like to continue to follow, please head to my wordpress blog site!

Blessings.

The myth of Christian ethics

"The knowledge that the Powers are inescapably bound to the divine ecology permits us to engage in struggles to transform them, whether by reform or revolution. The New Testament view of the Powers gives us a broad continuum of possible emphases, adaptable to every situation.  No prepackaged answers tell us how Chritians should engage the Powers. . . all live in the paradox of being in, but not of, the Domination System.  Spiritual discernment takes the place of fixed rules.  As Jacques Ellul argues, there really is no such thing as a "Christian ethic," only the ethical [creativity] of Christians."

- Walter Wink, Engaging the Powers

Engaging the Powers

"The simultaneity of creation, fall and redemption means that God at one and the same time upholds a given political or economic system (since some such system is required to support full human life), condemns that system insofar as it is destructive of full human actualization, and presses for its transformation into a more humane order.  Conservatives stress the first, revolutionaries the second, reformers the third.  The Christian is expected to hold together all three."

Walter Wink, Engaging the Powers

The Good Samaritan

Recently I was struck by the profundity of Luke 10:25-37, the story of the "Good Samaritan."  And, as is typical with the parables of Jesus, it is much deeper than what is usually discussed.  First it is interesting to note that this is Jesus' response to the question: "what must I do to inherit eternal life."  In short, His answer is "love your neighbor," which was probably as surprising to the "expert in religious law" as it might be to a contemporary "expert."  The man replies, "but who is my neighbor?" 

In the parable, the priest and the Levite both pass up the beaten man, an obvious condemnation of the religious structures of the time, but this is not the main idea from the parable.

Rather, the Samaritan not only met the wounded man's needs (verses 33-34), but went out of his way to both physically and monetarily nurse the man back to health (34-35).  What struck me as profound though was the fact that the Samaritan came back.

Many folks are willing to serve others.  Many more, especially those in an affluent nation like ours, are willing to help financially.  But the last promise that the Samaritan makes is that he will come back.  This is relationship.  That is the toughest promise to make because relationships can get messy.

Since I am a teacher, I develop graphic organizers. . . for a living.  This one came to mind while I was studying this passage:

We can only be a "true neighbor" by incorporating compassion, action AND relationship.  Without one of these key components we fall short of the example set by the Good Samaritan.  Being moved to compassion and then wanting to serve (absent of relationship) can create a sanitary service paradigm where we end up creating cultural, racial and socio-economic barriers.  When we feel as if it is our "Christian duty" to help others (void of compassion and love) and we enter into relationship with those in need we begin to eventually resent the folks we have been called to love.  Lastly, if we have compassion and relationship with the marginalized but no action, we fail to fully meet God's call in Matthew 25 (feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked, visit the imprisoned).

I do not believe that it was a coincidence that Luke follows up this story about the Good Samaritan with one about Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42).

When we can allow the Holy Spirit to transform our interaction with our neighbors to include compassion, action and relationship, only then can we become true neighbors.

Church as Antagonist to Christ

The follower of Christ, whose service means an ever-growing understanding of his teaching, and an ever-closer fulfillment of it, in progress toward perfection, cannot, just because he is a follower, of Christ, claim for himself or any other that he understands Christ's teaching fully and fulfills it. Still less can he claim this for any body of men. 

To whatever degree of understanding and perfection the follower of Christ may have attained, he always feels the insufficiency of his understanding and fulfillment of it, and is always striving toward a fuller understanding and fulfillment. And therefore, to assert of one's self or of any body of men, that one is or they are in possession of perfect understanding and fulfillment of Christ's word, is to renounce the very spirit of Christ's teaching. 

Strange as it may seem, the churches as churches have always been, and cannot but be, institutions not only alien in spirit to Christ's teaching, but even directly antagonistic to it. With good reason Voltaire calls the Church l'infâme; with good reason have all or almost all so-called sects of Christians recognized the Church as the scarlet woman foretold in the Apocalypse; with good reason is the history of the Church the history of the greatest cruelties and horrors. 

The churches as churches are not, as many people suppose, institutions which have Christian principles for their basis, even though they may have strayed a little away from the straight path. The churches as churches, as bodies which assert their own infallibility, are institutions opposed to Christianity. There is not only nothing in common between the churches as such and Christianity, except the name, but they represent two principles fundamentally opposed and antagonistic to one another. One represents pride, violence, self-assertion, stagnation, and death; the other, meekness, penitence, humility, progress, and life. 

We cannot serve these two masters; we have to choose between them. 

(From Leo Tolstoy's The Kingdom of God is Within You)

How many men are necessary to change a crime into a virtue?

One man may not kill. If he kills a fellow-creature, he is a murderer. If two, ten, a hundred men do so, they, too, are murderers. But a government or a nation may kill as many men as it chooses, and that will not be murder, but a great and noble action. Only gather the people together on a large scale, and a battle of ten thousand men becomes an innocent action. But precisely how many people must there be to make it so? — that is the question. One man cannot plunder and pillage, but a whole nation can. But precisely how many are needed to make it permissible? Why is it that one man, ten, a hundred, may not break the law of God, but a great number may?

                                                           - Adin Ballou
                                                              (American pacifist, socialist and abolitionist)

Warrior Dash Results

Team Nevernude rocked the North Bend, WA Warrior Dash. As one team member said, "We won before the race even started."

I would say only about 50% thought we were Tobias Funke from Arrested Development, the other half thought we were the actual Blue Man Crew.  One Warrior Dash official took a picture of us and posted it on Twitter with the title "Blue Man Crew."  Their loss.

The hardest part about the entire day was lubing up the blue body paint.  When you are one step above Sasquatch, it isn't much fun.

Here we are on the 2nd to last obstacle.  We decided very early on: "Leave no Blue Man behind," and finished with a time of 50 minutes.  Our goal was under an hour, so we destroyed expectations. There were about 3,000 participants on Sunday and we finished right around 1,500th.

I did a cannonball into the mud pit at the end. 

We did the wheelbarrow across the finish line in true warrior fashion.

The girls were warriors too.

Warrior Dash

I'm doing this next weekend. 3.6 miles, 12 obstacles including "Deadman's Drop," "Road Rage" where we will crawl over old cars and "Warrior Roast" which is jumping over flaming trenches of fire.



After repetitively telling my brother "No, I don't want to pay money to throw up" he offered to pay (for my birthday).

If you know my brother, it wouldn't sound odd that he wants to run it in costumes.  Here is what we settled on:



Tobias Funke - Blue Man with Nevernudes.

Should be fun.

Vegetable Oil Conversion Installment #3

Still working out some kinks with the engine swap, but the veg oil conversion is working well.  I don't have gauges installed, so I don't know how much VO is in the tank, or what the temperature of the VO is before it injects, or finally if my VO filter needs changed, but the diesel fuel level gauge isn't moving much!  Here are a few videos of the swap and conversion:

Education Manifesto

We place too much value in education.  That's right, I'm a teacher.  Here is why:

I overheard one student asking another: "Why aren't you going?"  "I am, I'm just starting at community college," said the other.  "But why not start out wherever you want to end up?"  "I can't pay, I don't qualify for FAFSA" (federal financial aid).  This is the case for so many of my students.  This one in particular is an excellent student: trustworthy, hardworking, willing and excited to learn.  But he isn't a U.S. citizen, so is therefore left out of the educational loop.

I on the other hand qualified and took advantage of tens of thousands of federal dollars in loans and grants.  Serenity and I together still owe over $20,000.  I've heard it and said it hundreds of times: teaching pays the least of any profession that requires a masters degree.  With a family of 6, I qualify for both food stamps and Oregon Health Plan.  I have a masters degree and found a good job in my chosen field and I still qualify for public assistance!  Something is wrong with the economic system we live in.  I am not someone who complains about my pay, I didn't get into teaching to become rich, and I enjoy what I do.

The internal conflict begins however, when I talk college with my students.  A report just came out that tells us that for the first time in history "the number of jobless workers age 25 and up who have attended some college now exceeds the ranks of those who settled for a high school diploma or less."

 

True learning can and does occur at university, however, as someone who attended 5.5 years of college can attest, much of it is jumping through hoops to attain a degree.  Learning is a choice, I don't need some certificate to tell me what or how to think.  Our world is becoming increasingly egalitarian, the free flow of information is helping many people become (even though it is a teaching cliche) "life-long learners".  I also fully understand that an education can be the tool that allows for those who are on the margins of society to become plugged into the world around them both socially and economically.  However, too many times, someone's level of education attained is how we define them.  We seem to place more worth (or at least I have / do) on someone who has attained a high school diploma over someone who has dropped out.  A doctor is somehow considered better than a migrant worker.  Herein lies the central question: Should our education define our worth?

It would be a central and fundamental shift in our thinking, especially as a teacher.  At WAAST (Woodburn Academy of Art, Science and Technology) where I teach, we tend to highlight our graduates who have attended prestigious colleges or who have went on to become successful in their chosen higher-level fields (after attaining some sort of higher-level degree).  I once had a principal who told us that every single one of our students should attend college.  What exactly should I say to a student who cannot attend college because of economic or citizenship obstacles?  Typically we all might intentionally or unintentionally consider that student as inferior and consequently treat her differently.  How should I lift up my students who either can't or choose not to attend college and treat them with dignity, respect and a sense of worth?  I believe our view of economics directly reflects how we view others.  If we have become conformist to the consumeristic and materialistic world around us, then becoming a doctor or lawyer or some other high paying profession is the ultimate goal and achievement.  If this is the view we have, then yes, college degrees and educational achievement should define our worth.  But if we reject this broken economic system or even question it, then educational achievement should not and does not define our individual worth.

Telling a generation of young people that their worth is tied up in where or if they attend college is a fallacy.  Educational attainment is no longer the measuring stick for success.  As an educator, I need to do a better job of making it clear to my students that their own individual worth is not connected to their chosen profession, or even a profession at all.  Ultimately, in God's eyes, someone who dropped out of school in 3rd grade and picks strawberries is as worthy of love and acceptance as someone who dropped $200,000 on a doctorate degree.

Vegetable Oil Conversion Installment #2

While I wait for the diesel conversion to be completed, I have been ordering veggie conversion parts and contemplating the new system. I've also been busy installing a 330 gallon IBC tote in my garage: 

(Notice how I have already poured some veggie oil in?  That is 45 gallons and it barely filled it past the spigot.)

I had to figure out adapters for bringing the 2 in. thread of the IBC down to a 3/4 in. fuel hose, and I found this at my local hardware store, Long Bros. here in Woodburn:

I have a 20 ft. fuel hose and auto shut-off nozzle on order from Northern Tools.  Not too long and I'll be set up to transfer fuel from my filtering location:

 . . . to my IBC tote and then be able to pump directly into my Vanagon.

Vegetable Oil Conversion - Installment #1

Our beloved 1987 2.1 liter Volkswagen Vanagon Wolfsburg Edition went belly up during spring break. So this is the prefect time to drop in a 1.9 liter turbodiesel and convert it all to run on vegetable oil. Yep, we are going 2/3 veggie (we still have a CJ-5 Jeep that I drive to work each day, which is only about 5 miles, so WVO doesn't make sense).

I have been thinking (Serenity might call it obsessing) about the conversion since then. I don't want to pay $4,000 to have someone install something that I think I can do myself, so I plan to install it myself. I also don't want to pay for engineering that I'm not sure either 1) fits for my climate or 2) doesn't make sense economically so I don't want to purchase a kit and am designing my own system and schematic.

However, I am not a mechanic, so I found a local guy named Mike who does engine swaps with Vanagons (Subarus, TDI, etc.). It is obviously a specialized trade (swapping a gasoline engine for a diesel). The actual vegetable oil conversion will be done at Mike's shop, but only with his guidance :)

I have thought about this conversion a lot lately (I do my best thinking at 3am right after Luci wakes me up, and in the shower), there is a lot to think about: tank placement, heat exchangers, waste coolant heat, 3-way solenoids, injection line heaters, etc.

Basically the theory goes that vegetable oil (VO) burns similar to diesel once it is heated to around 180 degrees which changes the viscosity to be thinner and burn more complete.

“The use of vegetable oils for engine fuels may seem insignificant today. But such oils may become in course of time as important as petroleum and the coal tar products of the present time.” - Rudolph Diesel (1912)

So, heat the VO on it's way to the injectors and you have a fuel that cuts emissions by around 85% and can be free if you know where and how to collect it. Along with heating the VO you must start on diesel (don't want to force cold VO into the engine and injectors) and purge the system of VO by running diesel through it before you shut it down each time, which takes about 30 seconds although it varies depending on how well designed your system is.

OK, so let me explain my design. Starting with the VO tank (which will be under the rear seat and will be 20 gallons giving us a range of over 500 miles per tank) the lift pump pulls VO out of the tank and pushes it through a "VegTherm" which can heat the VO to temperatures near or above 200 degrees depending on climate and time of the year. If the temperature of the VO reads excessively high during the summer months I will have a manual switch that turns the VegTherm off. Next the VO travels through a coolant heated filter head and into the filter which will be heated with a WVO Designs 12 volt electric filter wrap. From the filter the VO travels to the 1st of two 3-way solenoid valves where I can control from the dash whether it pushes out diesel or VO. A temperature sensor will inform me if the VO temperature is too high before it goes into the fuel injector lines which are heated with 12 volt electric wraps. What fuel is not needed at the injection pump is then sent back through the return lines either to the diesel tank or looped back into the VO lines depending on what I have selected on the dash of the Vanagon.

Here are some pictures of Mike and I as we dropped the old engine out of Wolfy. The 1.9 turbodiesel engine should be installed this week or next and then we can get to work on the VO system.

We are prophets of a future not our own

Oscar Romero was assassinated 32 years ago this month. Some argue whether he actually spoke or wrote the prayer below, but either way, it is profound.

It helps now and then, to step back and take the long view. The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us. No statement says all that could be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection, no pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the church's mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about: We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capability.

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs. We are prophets of a future not our own.

Amen.

Why we do what we do. . .

"We can't love God unless we love each other. And to love we must know each other. We know Him in the breaking of bread and we know each other in the breaking of bread. And we are not alone anymore." ~ Dorothy Day

There is something very symbolic about food, . . breaking bread together. It transcends language and culture. We had a "leadership" meeting at our home amongst our friends from the Jubilee Food Pantry last weekend. It was amazing and remarkable. Simple too. We broke bread (well, actually not bread we had homemade and authentic posole and enchilades) with our amigos. It was really the first time that we had the opportunity to share our vision for the pantry: build community, love one another and enter deeper into the Kingdom. It was especially cool for me in that many of the husbands came with their wives, which is usually not the case on Tuesday evenings. As what I shared about our hopes and dreams with this community was communicated by one of the family's high school aged daughter, there were a lot of heads nodding and quite a few smiles. This is encouraging since many had no idea why exactly we do what we do ~ other than to love Jesus. I think the quote from Dorothy Day above sums it up very nicely and I will paraphrase: we cannot love God fully unless we are loving each other, we love each other by truly knowing each other, we can better know one another when we break bread together, when we break bread together we become community. Pretty simple and the posole was good!

Tithing

Don't have anything new to say on the subject, just thought I would tell folks a bit about our philosophy of tithing. Many may see it as faulty, that's OK. For years, we gave 10% directly to our local church. It was regular and consistent and it stretched us financially. Yet the past 3 years we have felt led to find ministries that directly support the lives of those in poverty. We have been able to give to different ministries and churches that we came across while traveling in 2008-2009. It has been a blessing to us to be able to reconnect with others in the Kingdom who are doing similar work and that we have admired and looked up to as lovers of Jesus. Our reasoning has not been because we don't believe churches do good things for the Kingdom, but rather that we believe that the money God has blessed us with needs to go directly to the poor. It is clear that one of the mandates that both God and Jesus gave was that of giving to the poor. As John the Baptist said: "If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry." It is also clear that for centuries, the early church took the same approach by giving over 90% directly to the poor rather than to salaries and building leases.

Much of our decision to shift away from giving to our local church was based off of writings such as:

EMBEZZLEMENT: THE CORPORATE SIN OF CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIANITY?: An Examination of How Local Congregations in the Early Church Spent Their Money and the Implications for Us Today by Ray Mayhew

It is a 26 page PDF, so it will take some time, but I highly recommend this biblical overview of tithing and the early church.

We have also chosen to use a portion of our tithing money to meet the immediate needs of those who we are in relationship with. We call it "relational tithe." It is a blessing and a joy to be able to meet some of the needs of those around us.

Lastly, and this isn't anything new, it was discussed by Ron Sider in his 1970s Christian classic Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, the graduated tithe is a very simple system to follow that allows for us to live at a basic level and increase our giving based on our increased salary / income. Here is a quick overview:

1. You set a starting amount or a base salary. The amount is often your current salary. The assumption is that if you are currently living on your income, you should be able to give away a larger amount of any increase you receive.

2. Commit to increasing the percentage of your giving each time you get an increase in your salary. The easiest way to do this is to increase your giving for every $1,000 you earn beyond your base salary. Again, for simplicity, you can give an extra 5% per $1,000 you make above your base salary. Per $1,000 annual increase, you increase your tithe by 5%, then 10%, then 15%, then 20% …

Just a few thoughts.

My Hobby

I have come to realize that collecting and filtering vegetable oil has become a hobby. I have been doing this since 2008 when we began traveling with Mustard Seed Ministries and I just couldn't stop. I have been working on the filtering system that I have set up on our side yard since last summer, and it works really well thus far. I have 5 different locations that I pick up used vegetable oil from, one on a weekly basis, the others call me when they need the space. I walked out of a convenient store last week with around 30 gallons, which with the cost of diesel at $4/gallon, that will save me about $120. I have calculated the amount we plan to use this summer with trips to California, Eastern Oregon and Seattle and figure that whatever surplus veggie oil we have in September I can sell for around $2/gallon. That will free up a lot of extra cash to develop projects and purchase products that will help those in our community. But beyond the financial aspect of filtering my own fuel is the fact that my carbon imprint has been significantly reduced. Check out the video:

οἰκονομία

Right now I'm reading a really good book called Free People: A Christian Response to Global Economics by Tricia Gates Brown. I came across an interesting Greek word: οἰκονομία or oikonomia. The word is used throughout the New Testament for "economy," and is translated in Greek as "house-keeping" or "stewardship of household affairs." Brown reveals the depth of Jesus' call to "come and follow" when held against the socioeconomic backdrop of peasants living in Palestine in the First Century. The followers of Jesus, most of them trapped in poverty, relied upon family connections, and extended family connections in order to survive from day to day (due mostly to extreme taxes from both Rome and the Herodian ruling family). So when Jesus called folks to follow him, it meant breaking ties with both your relatives and the economic ties of that family life. You were now part of the "family of God," relying on your brothers and sisters for survival. This is why Jesus, on several occasions, uses pretty harsh language about family when referring to the commitment of following him (Luke 8, Matthew 10).

Now this concept of economics being "in-house," makes the early church of Acts (specifically discussed in Acts 2:44-46; Acts 4:32-35) sound much less radical. Having family, specifically family that contributes economically, was vital to survival in First Century Palestine, it was simply a way of life. If Jesus called his disciples to "come and follow him," then they were asked to cut economic ties, and most of the time relational ties as well, with their immediate family and enter into the family of God. This new family was now their economic family. Looking out for their family's economic needs was part of life, for peasants and fisherman alike, it was essential to life. How many of us view our sisters and brothers as actual sisters and brothers. With our time, or relationship and essential to all, our economics? "There were no needy ones among them" takes on a new meaning when we look at Jesus followers as brothers and sisters, not just neighbors.

Cause or Kingdom?

I have been reading quite a bit about and from Clarence Jordan, the founder of Koinonia Farm in rural Georgia. He wrote the Cotton Patch version of the New Testament. He was trained as a Southern Baptist preacher, and when he would guest preach he would only have a few notes on a small piece of paper and the original Greek New Testament that he would translate as he preached. Jordon was a dynamic individual. He was on the forefront of the battle against segregation and developed a unique model for communal living. However, he didn't start Koinonia in the early 1940s to create a prophetic call against the evils of segregation. Nor did he begin with the idealistic notion of starting a monastic commune in rural Georgia. He didn't reject the nationalism of World War II and register as a Conscientious Objector, which, in patriotic Dixie was almost unheard of, because he wanted to make a statement against war. He did all of this because he felt that the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5, 6 and 7) were "marching orders" for God's people. The words of Jesus, specifically in the Sermon on the Mount, were the framework for God's Kingdom. As Jordan said, he wanted Koinonia to be "a demonstration plot for the Kingdom of God." He wasn't a civil rights leader, a monastic leader, or anti-war protest leader. Jordan simply believed that these concepts were clearly Jesus' instructions for us. As Joe Maendel, a friend of Jordan and a devout Hutterite, recalled:

I had been trained to think that Jesus' words were in the Bible from one end to the other, that the whole book from the first page to the last contained God's words on law and order. Clarence just put his arm around me and said, 'Joe, you don't know how to read the Bible.' And then he took me home and showed me.

He showed me where some of the Bible is just history, where some of it is just telling how so-and-so applied what Jesus said, and how some of it just sets the stage for what Jesus did or said. he told me there is only one place where Jesus starts giving orders and that was in Matthew five, six and seven. He showed me how Jesus didn't talk about community or how to be a Christian -- he talked about love, and mercy, and humbleness -- and Clarence said if you have these, you have community automatically. Clarence said you can argue about the rest of the Bible if you want to, but there is no argument about Matthew five, six, and seven.

Clarence Jordan had only one cause, his singular desire was to enter deeper into God's Kingdom. We have visited several churches over the past few years, and we have attended several conferences. In many instances, opportunities are presented for people to get involved with different "causes." The opportunity to support those digging wells in impoverished nations, or the chance to work with those involved in distributing the Gospel to communist nations. While I whole-heatedly support the efforts of these organizations and individuals who are tangibly loving their neighbors, I also know first hand that when we become about a cause we can quickly get burnt out. One week our hearts are impacted by a video we watched and so we give a little to help build a well in India. The next week we hear about a friend who is helping an organization to end human trafficking. Drawn into the heart-wrenching stories, we try to get more involved. We wonder how we can become involved in so many different "causes," and with the typical American's busy life, the only solution is to give financially. That subdues our conscience -- for a while. The well has been dug, people in the village now have water . . . . what's next? Homelessness? Hunger? Orphans?

Once again, many founders, workers and donors to these causes are centered in the middle of God's Kingdom, but many times it feels like some Christian circles can become a trendy social justice À la carte. Our faith becomes schizophrenic, scattering our time, energy and finances over logo ladened t-shirts, bumper stickers and self-righteous pats on the back.

Jordan advocated for Jesus followers to give. He quoted Augustine in his letter to supporters in 1968:

"'He who possesses a surplus possesses the goods of others.' That's a polite way of saying that anybody who has too much is a thief. If you are a 'thief,' perhaps you should set a reasonable living standard for your family and restore the 'stolen goods' to humanity."

But the giving wasn't sparked by a cause, it was sparked by the Kingdom. Jordan didn't try to convince others to live communally, fight racism, or become pacifists, in other words, he wasn't looking for a cause to fight. Instead, he was trying to convince folks that we must enter into God's Kingdom. Furthermore, Jordan believed that the Sermon on the Mount was the summary of Jesus' teaching about the Kingdom. By putting the ideals laid out in the Sermon on the Mount into action in our daily lives, justice, which is God's "cause," will naturally (and supernaturally), become our "cause."

Point of Sale Salvation

I can't remember exactly when I prayed "the" prayer. Maybe I was three or four, possibly five, my mom probably knows. It doesn't seem that significant now. I remember telling people that my true conversion occurred when I was 19. After the spiritual high wore off, it didn't feel much different and I went on making the same mistakes, questioned what it all meant and struggled with knowing what it meant to "believe" in Jesus. It was / is more of a process than an instantaneous conversion. Today I can say that I am assured of my salvation; I know who I am in Christ. I have heard somewhere that salvation happens instantly, but sanctification is a process. I don't know. Paul said that we must "work out our salvation," so he would probably disagree with the whole "instantaneous" thing.

I have never pushed the whole prayer thing with my own kids. I guess I'm not really willing to pressure or even gently and lovingly persuade my kids into doing something I'm not even sure about. This isn't to say that I don't think proclaiming that you know and love Jesus isn't an important and life altering decision in someone's life, or that parents that have or plan to talk to their kids about "accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior," are doing something inappropriate. It is just something that I am personally choosing not to pursue with my kids. Something I want them to become curious about and really want to do it, not something I planted or indoctrinated them with. I recall telling campus missionaries that tried to "save" me in college that Christianity was my parent's religion. Maybe that's because I prayed "the" prayer before I knew that I could make it mine, before I knew what it even meant to follow Jesus (which I still don't fully understand).

I think the bigger question here is what does it even mean to be "saved." Theologically, the "work" of salvation has already happened on the cross, but what does it take to be "saved." Should we simply believe? Must we then proclaim what we believe? Is that it? Most mainstream Evangelicals treat salvation like a point of sale transaction. Once you swipe your eternity debit card through the machine and punch in your Jesus PIN number, you are good to go. But I have problems with this definition of salvation. It is obvious to me that it isn't some instantaneous occurrence where a little bell rings in Heaven and half-naked baby angels begin to celebrate. I also believe that shedding this type of view is essential to our understanding of what it means to enter into the Kingdom of God and both know and follow Jesus. The "cost of discipleship" discussed in Luke 14 should tell us that it is more than simply praying.

One of my favorite translations is the New Living Translation. Reading through the New Testament I have noticed that nearly every time the translation uses the word "believers" it has an asterisk. In the footnote it reads "Greek: disciples." I wonder why the translators chose to use "believers" instead? "Disciple" is so much richer in context. To be a believer (someone who knows) has a much different meaning than a disciple (someone who imitates).

In John 8, Jesus is speaking to a crowd of people. Early on, He is speaking directly to the "unbelievers," but then he turns his focus to the "believers":

"Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

It sounds like you can be a "believer" and not be free. Only by following his teachings can you become a disciple and learn the truth, and only then will you be set free.

In Matthew 7, Jesus says that simply calling out to him (praying?) will not automatically mean you will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You must actually do something (be a disciple):

“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter." (Matthew 7:21)

The question that follows is "what exactly are the 'teachings' of Jesus?"

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:36-39)

And in John, Jesus comes full circle: we must (1) remain faithful to His teachings, (2) His teachings are to love and (3) if we love we prove we are a true disciple:

"Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:35)

I write all of this not because I have answers, but because I have questions. How can I lead my kids into a deeper and more authentic relationship with Jesus? How can I allow freedom for my children to make their own decisions and be true disciples of Jesus? I think part of the reason I don't want to lead my children through a simple pray and profession of faith is that following Jesus is so much deeper than that. I want my children to be disciples of Jesus, not just believers in Him.

Our Abba Father

Originally posted on our MSM blog on November 24th, 2008:

I have been overwhelmed on a couple of occasions here in Charlotte. Once was when Avery and I sat in on a Bible study at Hoskins Park. Hoskins is a transitional housing ministry that gets men off the streets and helps them plug back into society. I sat near the back with a few guys I had met earlier that night listening to the speaker as he talked about the attributes of God – How do we see Him? Who is He to us? The room was filled with men who were broken in one form or another, myself included. I slowly brought my eyes across the small room with probably more than 40 men stuffed in it. I saw some men eagerly taking notes, I saw others focused intently on the speaker, I saw one man sleeping, and being nudged by fellow brothers with stern looks on their faces. I saw another young man, actually the first I had met that night, get up slowly from his seat and stagger towards the door, errantly grasping for the door knob until finally he clumsily made his way outside, followed quickly by a couple of staff. Turns out that sometime between the time I met him and Bible study he had downed a 5th of vodka and had to be taken to the hospital. We were all broken, none more than any other. I got a sense that the men were “for” each other, and believed in the staff who lived right there with them.

As I held Avery in my lap and listened, a feeling of joy rushed over me, Jesus was with us, and only His healing can truly “heal” us. It’s amazing when a group of broken people gather together. More importantly, broken people who are ready for the Lord to work. I was inspired by these men. I got a sense of community from Hoskins Park. I also got the sense that the Lord wanted me to tell them all that He was proud of them, that even though they have all been pulled through the muck and mire, that it doesn’t discount their story, it doesn’t make their impact on others invalid. That actually the opposite was true, their stories, thier testimonies, even though incomplete, were given to them by God, by our Abba Father, and He wants us to shout them to anyone who wants to listen.

I love it when Avery tells me a story, about what he learned in Sunday school that day, or what he heard downtown from somebody, I want to hear him, I want to listen. That is what God, our Abba Father wants from us. He wants to hear our story, our testimony of what He has done in our lives. I was overwhelmed, like every single man’s story in that room the other night was downloaded into my mind, like I knew them well, their struggles, their victories, and I hadn’t heard one of them. The Lord was confirming in my own soul that when His people come together, and earnestly seek Him with transparency, and honesty, realizing our own brokenness, great things can happen. God honored that. Afterwards, men I had never met or talked to, men from completely different social, and economic backgrounds came up to Avery and I and gave us hugs, thanking us for being there. Overwhelming.