A letter to our church family

Dear Friends and Family,

We are excited about the direction God has us moving in. Many of you we know well, and have been sharing in this journey with us, while others are part of Grace Chapel, our home church, and only know us through an occasional smile and nod every other Sunday. One way or another, we believe God is calling us to communicate to you the exciting adventure He has us on.

God is calling our entire family to the mission field. Not to the traditional “mission field” that many of you are envisioning right now. Rather, in the original “church of Acts” sense, one with an apostolic vision, meaning, we will be traveling from place to place, spreading the mustard seed of God’s love and the Gospel of Christ. We plan to travel the United States intersecting the lives of the poor and marginalized and spreading the love of Christ to them through acts of love and compassion. Some of these acts may be monetary, such as buying a homeless family lunch, or new sleeping bags, or they may be acts of love such as washing a homeless man’s feet and sharing with him the Good News that God loves him. We plan to go to laundry mats and begin conversations about the love of God. We plan to buy pizzas and approach homeless camps under bridges and talk about our hope in Jesus. Sometimes we may show up in an inner city slum and say nothing at all, just provide the basic necessities that the poor so desperately need. As the old adage goes, “preach the Gospel and if necessary, use words.”

We desperately want to begin His Kingdom now. Our vision is not to go around and get people off the street, but to show people that there is hope, and that they are important and loved. We want the people we come across to know that the loneliness, sadness, and hopelessness that is prevalent in our country today is nothing when compared to His love and His hope.

The details. I am a teacher at Woodburn High School, and I plan to resign at the end of this coming school year. We will sell our house sometime this year and with some of the money left over we plan to purchase a used motor home. We will spend the left over cash from the sale of our house on the people that we intersect. We plan to sell all of our belongings and contribute that money to the same fund. We are also in the process of starting a non-profit organization that will allow people to contribute not only to helping the poor, but also to support us through basic living expenses. We also desire a non-profit organization that will have a board of directors who will keep us accountable and help us maintain the vision God has for us. We are very open to God’s leading, and our itinerary will most definitely change. We plan to leave in July of 2008, and as of now, our trip will take us to around fifteen cities throughout the United States and Canada. We will hopefully be able to find a church, faith community, or faith organization that will support us while we are visiting each city. Our plan is to stay at each of these cities for around ten days. We pray that God will lead us to people who are open to His word and that the Holy Spirit speaks to them through our words and our actions.

We know that this ministry will impact the poor and marginalized throughout the areas we travel to, but we are extremely excited about what this is going to teach us as a couple, as parents, and as a family. With three children Avery (4), Allyson (3) and Eva (1), we will be doing plenty of parenting in a 30ft motor home. Ultimately I pray that this ministry will show our kids what it truly means to be a follower of Christ. We fully understand that although this may be an “adventure,” it will also be filled with times of stress, sadness, fear, and exhaustion, but we also believe that we can rely on God, knowing that Christ carried His cross and through His strength we can pick up ours each day and follow Him.

A lot of details need to be worked out, and a lot of miracles need to occur for our journey to begin. We are sending this letter to you for one major reason, we covet your prayers and desire for our home church to walk along side of us as we move towards obedience in Christ. We would appreciate your prayers for the following things:

1) That the stress of quitting my job and living without income will be over-ridden by God’s ever-reaching sovereignty.

2) To sell our house, this is the key to beginning our ministry, and we are truly relying on God to come through.

3) Someone knowledgeable to either a) walk along side us and guide us as we sell our house “by owner,” or b) have a realtor sell our house for very, very low commission.

4) To find a used motor home at a reasonable price that would not only fit our needs as a family of five, but be in good mechanical condition.

5) For someone who is knowledgeable about the process of starting a non-profit organization (accountant, attorney) to come along side us and guide our decisions.

6) A laptop computer in order to keep in touch with supporters of our ministry and keep records of finances, etc.

7) That we will be able to make contacts with churches, faith communities, or faith organizations that will be supportive of our ministry in each of the cities we plan on visiting.

We thank you for taking the time to read this letter. If you have any comments or any questions for us, please talk to us at Grace Chapel, or email us. If you would like to offer support in any way, or would like to receive email updates along the way, please email at:

serenity@sterling.net or andy@sterling.net

Sincerely,

Andy and Serenity Coulombe

Eyes and Ears

One of my biggest struggles and desires thus far in our quest has been to make sure people "get it," that they understand why we are doing it, or better yet, they understand what the gospel is truly saying, and that God is calling them too it as well. I'm coming to the realization that there is nothing that I can say to people, or explain to people that will help them understand. It is actually freeing. To release the grip on my desire to explain things. It is difficult too, it is a selfish desire that people see things my way, not so much that they can experience the freeing power of Christ, rather that we can have a few more people "get it." I have caught myself getting overwhelmingly frustrated with people who don't get it. And then God gently reminds me that for the longest time, I didn't get it either. That is the true nature of the Holy Spirit. He will reveal things to people in His timing. And, sadly, He may never reveal the truth to them either. Conversely, the Spirit may reveal it to them, but for whatever reason they do not listen.

Ezekiel 12:2 says: "They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear."

This is where I can release it. If people, good people, good Christians, ignore what the Holy Spirit is telling them, how could I convince them through talk, through reasoning. I can't, and that is what is so freeing: only the Spirit can guide the hearts of men.

Serenity and I have both come to the realization that many times, God only reveals the true meaning of the Gospel to those who consider themselves true sinners, as Brennan Manning says, "Ragamuffins." We are gradually coming to the realization that GOD DOES NOT NEED US! To some that is offensive, or at least mildly alarming, they say "well, I am inherently good, I am worth something." I believe that God has begun to reveal the Truth to us because we are beginning to understand that we are true ragamuffins, we are true sinners, and we are powerless and ultimately worthless. Would the truth of the gospel really sink into the heart of the [fill in the blank here] who still believes that he has something to offer God? No, he would reject this absurd belief in making himself the least, and taking up his place in the back of the line because he would be too good to be there. Remember, GOD DOES NOT NEED US! This is why people don't get it, God through the Holy Spirit is not calling them, or, they are not listening.

Manning states in his Ragamuffin Gospel "Nothing compares to the kingdom of God. In [the ragamuffin's] eyes its worth is beyond all worth. . . . This is the ragamuffin's secret, which nominal Christians do not understand, but for which martyrs have given their lives. For the sake of the kingdom of God, thousands upon thousands have had their possessions confiscated, homelands seized, and families, careers, and good names sacrificed. The nominal just don't get it. They hear the Word of God, but it does not speak to them interiorly. . . . [they say] You can't pay the rent, cook soup, or puchase a computer with religion. What matters is muscle, intelligence, connections and stronger battalions. The rest is opium for the people. The nominal do not know the secret. The treasure is hidden from their eyes. The values and lifestyle of the ragamuffin rabble are simply incomprehensible."

To so many of our friends and family our coming lifestyle is "incomprehensible."

It is amazing to me how the Spirit works. He (or she, I have read commentary about how the Holy Spirit was spoken and written about in the feminine tense in ancient Greek and Hebrew.) has placed books from authors who have eyes that see and ears that hear the call of Christ into my hands. These books have spoken volumes into my life the past year, and have contributed to the wrestling match between the old way and the new way revealed that is going on in my head. At the risk of sounding as if I steal all of my ideas and thoughts from other authors, let me offer up another addition to this line of thought from the author of The Barbarian Way, Erwin McManus:

"Barbarians [those passionately following Christ by picking up their cross each day] hear a call different from that of civilized Christians. We understand clearly that we follow the God who chose the way of the Cross. If Jesus would not avoid the "place of the skull," then we should not be surprised where He might lead us. If even He found Himself sweating blood at Gethsemane, then we should be certain we will stand at crisis moments where all we can do after asking for relief is declare, "Not my will, but Yours." In those moments you may find very few who stand by you to provide you comfort and strength, and strangely enough, you may find far too many trying to reason with you that God would never require so much of anyone. Yet even with all the noise pounding inside your head, you will still clearly hear the voice of Christ and his barbarian call if you listen carefully enough."

I'm listening and I can hear Him calling, and I truly desire for you to listen for it too.

Forgive and Forget

In the spring of 1997 I was 19 years old and a sophomore at Oregon State University. I had gone to OSU to study fish and wildlife and earn a degree that would let me play outside all day in the woods. What I ended up with was a lot of painful memories from poor decisions I made. I went very quickly from a naive kid from southern Oregon to a drug user and alcoholic. My life revolved around where I could find my next $50 sack, my next case of beer, and while I was wasted, where I could get laid. I got to the point where I was getting in trouble with the law, and even selling drugs to friends of mine.

An amazing attribute of God is that He never holds you with a tight grip. Kinda like my Dad taught me to hold a golf club "Like you are holding a bird: not so loose that he will fly away, but not so tight you will squeeze his head off."

God has a path for you, but he doesn't force you to do anything. You have to choose to follow, to be obedient. YOU have to make decisions. YOU have to make choices. Like the choice to forgive the people who hurt you.

On March 20th, 1997, the night before I left OSU and transfered to Southern Oregon University, I was hammered again. On multiple drugs and finished with who knows how many beers sitting in my friends house. Now when I say "friends," I don't mean in the real sense. None of these guys would help me move, or would talk about real things, about life. None of them would be there for me when I needed them to be, I knew it, they knew it. They were all I had, and I opened up to them on many levels without them really, truly being a friend. That night I faced rejection. A group of friends who I shared little in common with except who we bought drugs from, told me that I was a loser, that I wasn't worth their friendship. At the same time, God embraced me, literally. I was no longer high or drunk, but I was sober, and I distinctly heard God for the first time in my life: "Andy, you are My child and I love you. Get up and leave this house, you are Mine; this is not the life I have for you." And with that I stood up and left that house on 9th and Harrison. Most of those guys I have never seen again.

That was the moment I believe I became a follower of Christ. Yes, there have been ups and downs, lots of them, but this was the point where I started believing in Christ not because my parents wanted me to, or my friends were at Sunday school, but because I knew He was the Way.

One of my biggest struggles since that day, "the day of my conversion," has been to forgive my friends at OSU, or anybody who has hurt me for that matter. It has only been through my realization that I am a loser, and I am worthless that I can truly forgive others. Without Christ I am nothing. I can do nothing to earn His love, He just loves me because I chose Him. Isn't that amazing. I don't have to go to the right church, or even go to "church" at all. We don't have to go on this trip ministering to the poor to earn God's love, He has already given it to us. If He loves me and has forgiven me, a loser and a sinner, why can't I forgive those who have wronged me.

Recently I realized a truth that has clinched it all for me: Not only does God forgive us, He FORGETS it all too. He isn't sitting up on His throne saying: "I love you guys, and I forgive you of all the things you've done," as He makes marks in His Book of Naughty Deeds like Santa Claus. He has FORGOTTEN! My pea sized brain can't fathom or comprehend. I can definitely forgive those guys at OSU, and I have, but I struggle with forgetting the pain they unleashed.

I am reading Brennan Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel. In it he says "Christianity happens when men and women accept with unwavering trust that their sins have not only been forgiven but forgotten, washed away in the blood of the Lamb. . . . . 'A sad Christian is a phony Christian, and a guilty Christian is no Christian at all.'"

A true lover of Christ is someone who is not sad or guilty, but overjoyed that God's love will never be taken away from them - no matter who our friends are, or what we have done with them.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, will come between us and separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

God is faithful!

I friend of mine told me that if we meet resistance, or we have internal doubt about our downward spiral, that it should energize us. If you live in complacency, Satan lets you be. If you are pursing God with passion and reckless abandon, Satan gets angry, and ultimately becomes threatened. Satan will constantly feed us doubt.

However, Proverbs 15:22 says:

Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.

I guess the trick is determining which "advisers" are truly seeking the face of God, and which are giving counsel rooted in their own shortcomings, jealousy, and pride.

Last week was a week of doubt. Was this following the will of God? What is His will? What does it even mean? If we are broken and contrite in front of our Lord, is our will His will? Maybe this is crazy. Maybe God doesn't want us to step out right now.

And then we had worship. It is amazing what God can do when you stop looking horizontally and look vertically. As the old hymn goes:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

As I mentioned in the last post, I have tended to lean towards the teaching that goes on from the pulpit rather than opening my eyes to what God has for me when I sing to Him and worship Him while basking in His power and grace. This is what happened last Sunday morning. As I walked into the church not knowing what God was doing, or even more accurately, IF God was doing anything in my life, the words to the worship song spoke directly to me in a life-changing way:

NOT TO US by Chris Tomlin

the cross before me the world behind
no turning back
raise the banner high
it's not for me
it's all for YOU

let the heavens shake and split the sky
let the people clap their hands and cry
it's not for us
it's all for YOU

CHORUS:
not to us
but to YOUR name be the glory
not to us
but to YOUR name be the glory

our hearts unfold before YOUR throne
the only place for those who know
it's not for us
it's all for YOU

send YOUR holy fire on this offering
let our worship burn for the world to see
it's not for us
it's all for YOU
for YOU

the earth is shaking
the mountains shouting
it's all for YOU
the waves are crashing
the sun is raging
it's all for YOU

the universe is spinning and singing
it's all for YOU
YOUR children dancing
dancing
dancing
dancing
it's all for YOU
it's all for YOU
my all for YOU
my all for YOU

When we stop focusing on our circumstances and our surroundings and begin to look to the Lord Almighty, everything else just fades away. There was no doubt in my mind that God was telling me: "Right on, keep pressing towards me, you are my child and I love you." This erased ALL doubt, how could it not!

Later that day I was listening to another worship song called "My Will" by DC Talk:

My Will by DC Talk

I'm setting the stage for the things I love
And I'm now the man I once couldn't be
Nothing on earth could now ever move me
I now have the will and the strength a man needs

(chorus)
Its my will, and Im not moving
Cause if its your will, then nothing can shake me
Its my will, to bow and praise you
I now have the will to praise my god

Complexity haunts me for I am two men
Entrenched in a battle that Ill never win
My discipline fails me, my knowledge it fools me
But you are my shelter, all the strength that I need

(repeat chorus)

I'm learning to give up the rights to myself
The bits and the pieces Ive gathered as wealth
Could never compare to the joy that you bring me
The peace that you show me is the strength that I need

God was whispering to His child: "bow and praise me, and everything will be OK." When you hear God in this way, you can't go on worrying about the details. GOD IS FOR US, NOT AGAINST US! He will show us the way!

The Chuch Was Dead - Literally

When Serenity and I first moved to Wilsonville we started looking for a church to attend. We didn't have any kids then, and we had only been married for a year or so. My maturity as a Christian was infantile, and I was not allowing Christ to work in my life. I had many issues, the usual for any man, pride, sexual addiction, more pride, some father wound, you know, the usual. My theory when looking for a church was to find one that "fed" us. A body that spoke to us through strong teaching from the pulpit. The music and the worship that ensued meant little to me, and it played a very minor role in my equation to find a good church. Seren was nearly the complete opposite. It is the left brain / right brain argument. We probably went to 6 or 7 churches before finally settling on Grace Chapel, which has played probably the most significant role in challenging us to be more open to God, and allowing him to work in our lives. The relationships we have forged there are ones we will have for our lifetime. It is an awesome, God centered and loving church, and God definitely directed us to it.

During our search, we came across a little church we decided to give a shot one Sunday. That morning we had been arguing about, you guessed it, what church we should go to. We pulled up in the parking lot, still fuming and approached the greeter at the front door, who happened to be150 and on an oxygen machine. "Just a very eager elderly gentleman, press on, see what is inside," I told myself. As we made our way across the foyer, late all be it, the congregation stopped in the tracks to see these new (and young) attendees. We smiled and nodded as we walked into the sanctuary and quickly found a couple of seats in the pew two from the back. We were hands down, no question the youngest people by far on the church grounds. We joked later that the playground equipment was actually there just to trick younger individuals into thinking people of child bearing age actually attended the service. The congregation was singing "Kum ba ya." I am serious, no joke. It gets better though, the pastor, who was also leading the congregation in the hymn, continued singing and walked all the way back to where we were standing and pointed to the page number in his hymnal and then smiled and returned to the front of the sanctuary. After we completed the hymn, the congregation was instructed to be seated and then another hymn began. I leaned to Serenity and said "let's go." She said in a very pained expression, "we can't." I retorted, "are we going to become members here?" Not waiting for her response, I continued, "why sit through an hour and a half of agony when we could have 30 seconds of agony now as we leave quietly through the back doors." And at that, we walked out without making eye contact with anyone. I know, cowardly, but it was for the best, trust me. This story is one of the reasons why I believe God has a sense of humor.

Within two weeks we had found Grace Chapel and have attended ever since.

I'm not sure if that experience would be too much different today, but what I do know is that the Holy Spirit has worked in my life where I was at. If you draw closer to Him, He will draw closer to you. Time and time again, He has presented the opportunity for me to die to self and be renewed in Him. Time and time again, He has presented the opportunity to stretch my faith and trust in Him. Through all of this, He has given me freedom over sexual addiction, over the pain of a father wound, and begun to squash my pride under the weight and power of His grace, mercy and love.